The Struggle is Real

I am a mom who loves reading.  This sentence could describe millions of moms, I know.

As a mom I have very limited free time.  The laundry is always singing a siren song.  There is a steady stream of dishes on the counter that I can't seem to conquer.  And homework, so much homework.

With four kids in my house I feel compelled to put myself at the bottom of every list.  #1 needs to go here.  #4 needs a snack.  #2 wants to have a heart to heart.  #3 is too quiet--I better go find her.  I could spend 24 hours being responsive to their needs and requests.

reading in the car while waiting to pick up #4.  nbd.

I have to make a choice.  Every day.  It is not easy.  I often feel guilt about choosing to read.  Did I just permanently damage him because I told him to go do something else while I'm reading?  I'm being so selfish!  Mom guilt is the worst.

However, when I don't take the time for something I love, I find myself resenting my family for being too demanding.  It's a catch-22.

I am learning to feel less guilt about reading.  It refreshes me and I am a much better mom when I'm reading regularly.  I learn from moms in books.  I learn about life and new ways to handle situations, and I gain a better perspective.  I appreciate the beauty of a well written sentence or laugh at a great joke or revel at a new thought.  These things nourish my soul.  

My kids need to see that reading is important to me or it will never be important to them.  They need to see me taking care of myself and feeding my mind so someday, they will do the same thing.

And, my kids could use the gift of being patient.  They don't need a mom who responds immediately to their every whim and desire.  In order for them to be good adults, they need to know that the world does not revolve around them.  Surely they will survive if I don't stop my life every time they ask me to watch them bounce a ball across the house or reward their begging and pleading for a tea party involving chocolate milk and marshmallows.

I say yes when I can.  I say way more yeses than nos.  But, I need to protect an hour each day to let my mind play.  To grow my imagination.  I need to make that tough choice to read so they can have a better mom.  

What gets in the way of your reading time?